My Hiding Diary

05:33 pm

After reading thousands of HP fanfics there are a couple of things that never cease to annoy me. So, here's a rant about it all:
Hi there!

I’d like to address all fan-fiction writers of the HP- fandom slash (especially of the SNARRY) genre. Here I’m going to address a couple of issues that will hopefully improve stories or might at least give people something to think about.

There are a couple of general things, that I feel I shouldn’t even have to mention, but here we are:
The first no no is probably spelling mistakes. Yes, they happen, but you should at least read your story over before submitting it... or give it to a beta reader to check. Common mistakes are the confusion of the three theres: there, their and they’re. It’s really not all that hard. I think it’s easiest to understand by looking at examples:
1. "There you go!" "There won’t be any pudding when we get home." "Are we already there?"
2. "Their parents are bigots!" "I love their house, it’s very light." "Are their children healthy?"
3. "They’re here!" "They’re no richer than we are." (written out: they are... easy!!)

Other mistakes include writing “his” instead of "he’s", "to" instead of "too" (or the other way around) and confusing "no", "know" and "now". Oh, and please! Do know when to use "don’t" and when "doesn’t". These are the basics! Do I have to say more, other than that it’s incredibly tedious to read such spelling mistakes??

Also, please check your sentence structure and ask yourself: "Does this really make sense?" "Do I know who’s talking/ asking/ answering?"

Use paragraphs to keep the text flowing and easier to read. Use them especially when using speech.

Now, for the narrative, people have different preferences. Personally, I dislike reading POV’s, especially if they’re obvious. POV’s also carry the danger to repeat the narrative, especially awful if the same situation is described several times from different people’s viewpoints. It makes it really boring to read. I’ve read fantastic fan fics using POV’s, but you should be confident in their use if you wish to try your hand on them.
I favour the narrative of a third person’s viewpoint or a general narrator’s. If you use that and some dialogue, the reader will find out easily enough just what the character thinks. There’s no need for ongoing POV’s.

Another, greatly annoying, thing is when people forget to do their research. It is understandable that when you’re feverishly writing at a new plot bunny, you don’t feel up to it, but do find some time to do it. I really don’t fancy reading eg. ridiculous middle names, time paradoxes. The HP Lexicon is probably the best website to find out easily everything you need to know. Otherwise, have another look at your Harry Potter books at home.

Also, think your plot out before you write it or at least know where you're going. Nothing is as annoying as irregularities, contradictions and inconsistencies. Don't write in the beginning that Harry always hated Snape, only to write later on that he always secretly loved him.

While there are some people that know the Harry Potter books by heart, I think it’s safe to say that all HP fan fiction readers have read at least some of the books, which is why I hate reading stories in which every little insight joke is explained in brackets. It’s UNNECESSARY, we’re not idiots and are fully capable of comprehending some half witty remarks. Also, it is completely unnecessary to retell the first 11 years of Harry’s life if you haven’t included a change that is important to your plot.


The next issue has to do with the slash part. I think warnings about the male/male nature of such fics are unnecessary as I think it’s pretty plain obvious in either the summary or when given the pairing.

There are a lot of slash fan fiction writers out there and I feel I should impress the importance of getting the balance right. If it’s a piece of smut, about 1000 words long, then ok, the sex scene is the central point. However, the worst is reading a wonderful 50.000 + words fic about the fledgling romance of Harry and Sev only to find out that the one and only sex scene is reduced to the simple sentence of: "They have a go at it" or an equal banality. I mean, this is SLASH, of course we want to read a little more than a sweet kiss. Please, don’t become prudish when it matters!

Fan fictions vary greatly in length and a lot of them are submitted chapter by chapter over several years. I tend to read only completed fics, this has the advantage of being sure that the story ends and is not going to be abandoned after you followed it with the utmost devotion for years. Also, I’m reading loads of stories, which makes it difficult to remember the plot of a story you started reading months ago, but isn’t finished yet. So, to authors that update and submit stories in chapters, please commit yourself to the story and don’t leave us hanging.

I personally love reading long plots and I mean LONG! 200.000 to 600.000 words or so. It doesn’t have to be all about sex, but please include it... otherwise, why bother writing slash??
On the other hand, there are stories (PWP) that are based on sex alone and those have their fans, though I favour complex plots, relationships and characters.

Sometimes, I also find it quite disturbing how often people write about D/s relationships or BD/SM. I mean, honestly, only a small percentage of people really practice it and while I understand the fascination with a little bondage or so, what’s this obsession about?!
While I read great stories that include such relationships, I’m starting to feel a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of fics that sport it.
Also, I just can't believe that either Snape or Harry would want somebody controlling them.. even if it's their most beloved! Harry, for example, is stubborn, he can shake of the Imperius, he knows his mind and hates people making decisions for him. It's unlikely he would want just that in bed. Both Snape and Harry have been controlled by life events, the war, Dumbledore and Voldemort. I think a relationship of equals would benefit most of them best.

A rather funny phenomena is that in fan fiction suddenly everybody’s gay. But honestly, where’s the fun in that? It also takes away a lot of opportunities for some extra drama and problems that keep the story an exciting read.

Now to the plot: a lot of people bring rape into their stories and handle the subject with appropriate sensitivity, however, a lot of other people don’t. If it is important to the plot of your story, then by all means include it! But, I feel that quite often authors just want to dramatise Harry’s experience with the Dursleys (if it is Vernon raping Harry we’re talking about), and therefore dramatise the plot. But remember, Harry spend 11 years of his life locked in a cupboard, was emotionally and physically neglected etc. Believe me when I say, that this is enough emotional luggage to go around with. Don’t put in an excess of rape scenes just for the sake of it, that kind of thing reduces and simplifies the severity of the act and the life changing consequences it has or can have.

Evil Dumbledore is another frequently returning plot. Now, I do believe Dumbledore to be manipulative, I think he made big and grave mistakes, some of them stay unexplained (sending Harry to the Dursleys and never checking up on him- although he may have thought Miss Figg sufficient), but I don’t believe him to be thoroughly evil. He's willing to sacrifice others for the greater good, but I also do believe that he suffers under this burden. Of course that just may be my little heart not wanting there to be any more evil people around Harry and Severus.

The same goes for Ron and/or Hermione betraying Harry. I just can't believe that they would go to such extremes, though I'm not averse to them struggling over eg. Snape as Harry's lover. Quite often I read that the whole magical community, the Gryffindors or even just Ron and hermione. I can't believ how quickly Harry forgives and forgets in these fics. I think Harry is to holy, I would rather have him angry, hurt and resentful (though not to the extreme of becoming new dark lord Harry). The same goes for when he's raped by Snape or anybody and forgives immediatly. I think that's just very unrealistic.

There are also a lot of stories with already established relationships, while I admit to sometimes reading those as well, my preference lies with the stories that describe the development from a hate to a love relationship. For me this is the most interesting part, how they get together with all the circumstances and past issues to overcome.

I've quite come to like magical creature/inheritance fics, although they usually change canon quite a bit. Still, what I don't like is Vampire Snape. It's not the vampire part that got my knickers in a twist, but that Snape becomes suddenly this super dominant sexy being. I like fics better that handle vampirism as the curse it is, similar to the hardship of being a werewolf, only 24 hrs a day, every day for the rest of their immortal lives.

I’m in a bit of a split mind about Mary Sues, because sometimes it’s necessary to bring in new characters into the plot. I find it however annoying should they become too important, which means become a main character. Also, I think JKR invented a whole range of characters whose names you could use, why invent somebody completely new if you have already loads of canon characters at your disposal?

Now, without wanting to offend America and its fan fiction writers, I HATE American Mary Sues or plots in which a HP character goes to the States for whatever reasons. (No offence here to Americans and no, I do not hate you!) Harry Potter is BRITISH and for me will always stay that way. I mean, people from all over the world write HP fan fiction, but only the Americans have the audacity to give themselves a role continuously... do I have to say more? But I do like fan fictions that point out that Voldemort affects the rest of the world and not only Britain, a fact that I think got a bit lost in canon (there is evidence for Voldemort’s influence in other countries, think about Quirrell and Headmaster Karkaroff from Durmstrang).

Another issue for me is out-of-character-Snape. I just can’t bear it.. Over confident Snape is just as annoying as fluffy Snape. Canon shows pretty much that he has insecurities like everybody else, probably more so. (Snape hates being humiliated by people and has a caustic exterior, but his love to Lily shows that he is able to love and devote himself to somebody). Similarly, I hate it when Snape suddenly becomes beatiful through some sort of miracle cure. The characters we write about are fictional, which means that we are offered characteristics by JKR, if we don’t use them, especially in Snape’s case (personality and looks), then it’s not really Snape you’re writing about and I suggest you invent your own characters to do with as you please outside of the HP genre.

Out-of-character Harry is not quite as terrible as when it's Snape. Still, I think it's too much when Harry suddenly (becomes/is):
heir of Merlin; heir of all four founders; inherits Hogwarts and gazillions of Galleons; sexually abused by Dursleys, but still wants rough sex with mates; several mates; sub; the most powerful person alive, but still needs to be protected by his dominant less powerful mates; wandless and voiceless magic; Legilemens und Occlumens; Potionsmaster; trained in a time paradox to make age gap insignificant; beautiul; Healer; royal; several animagus forms: unicorn, phoenix, snake, cat; long black hair with streaks of: white, red, blue, green; Veela, Elf and Vampire; mpreg with several babies from several mates at the same time; superlibido; wings,claws a tail and canines; superintelligent; O’s in all NEWT‘s; everybody loves him and wants to subsequently rape him...
It's just too much!!!

Quite often Harry is also feminised, which I am a bit in a split mind about. Of course I like cute and beautiful Harry, who is slender, has big green Bambi eyes, soft skin and loves to be taken. But one has to be careful not to overdo it! Because if it's that you want, than stick with hetero sex!

This leads me also to the alternative universe stories, while I don’t mind them and some are really good, I find myself wondering how much of Harry and Snape is left without their magical world. It seems to me as if they’re original stories that secure a readership just because the main characters’ names are Snape and Harry, but how much is really left of them??

To come to an end, I’m wondering how I read certain sentences over and over in different FF’s, such as "Quidditch toned thighs" and why nobody ever writes how Harry and Severus’ "black inky hair mix on the pillow". Isn’t that sensual?!

On an end note I should probably say that I truly respect fan ficiton authors, especially when writing novel sized stories. Being able to create an interesting plot over several hundred pages needs a lot of commitment and creativity, which is absolutely admirable!!!
I hope I haven't insulted too many people... please keep in mind, that this is all my personal opinion and personal taste.
Also, I do break my own rules from time to time... and to be honest when always keeping in mind everything I said, it would become pretty boring on the fanfiction front.

Current Mood: discontent